Pet Peeve No. 2: The Clueless Person at the Front Desk

Question: Who is the first person you see when you walk into a hospital, virtually any hospital?

Answer: A sweet, well-meaning, usually-elderly, person whose previous medical experience has been limited to sending flowers and writing get well cards.

Me: Hello, can you tell me what room Mr. Cyzmanski is in?
Her: Please? (that's Cincinnati-speak for "I didn't hear you.")
Me: Can you tell me what room Mr. Cyzmanski is in?
Her: Manski?
Me: NO, Cyzmanski.
Her: Can you spell that?
Me: C-Y-Z-M-A-N-S-K-I
Her: With a C?
Me: Yes, with a C
Her: (Ruffling through a card file). C and a Z?
Me: No, C-Y-Z-M...
Her: (cutting me off) He's in room 217B.
Phone Rings, she picks it up, puts the other hand on the mouthpiece, mumbles something incoherently, and says "Please" at least three times during the conversation. I wait.
She hangs up phone and looks at me as if to say, "Why are you still here?"
Me: How do I find Room 217B?
Her: (looking at a rather complicated map taped on to the counter top). Straight ahead, past second elevator, right, down the hall, left at sign, past employee cafeteria, take elevator up to second floor, down hallway, ask volunteer at the third nurses station.
Me: Thanks...and where can I find the bathroom?
Her: Please?
Me: The MEN'S ROOM
Her: Right next to the ladies' room! (and points approximately south-southwest on the compass. With that, she gets up and disappears into an adjoining room, leaving the desk unoccupied). I turn away...fearing that she may call Security.

I finally find the men's room, wondering while relieving myself why Walmart gives a better first impression then most hospitals care to do...at least I would think twice about becoming a patient at this one!